Julie Metz, author of Perfection, stop in to answer a few questions. (If you missed yesterday's post, you can find my review here.) Make sure you enter to win a copy of this engrossing memoir by commenting on this post.
Q: What made you decide to go “public” with your loss and betrayal? What did you gain by sharing this with the world? Any negatives to baring all? Did you hear from other betrayed spouses after they read Perfection?
A: After Henry’s death I began keeping a journal and I wrote letters to friends. After the revelations of his betrayals, several friends suggested that I consider writing a book. At first I dismissed this idea, but I began to think about what resources there were for women in my situation. I wanted to write the book I wished had existed for me to read. I also saw my story as a cautionary tale for younger women. The response to my book has been controversial at times, but the letters I receive are overwhelmingly positive and supportive. They are from women (and some men too!), who have lived through a similar experience.
Q: How did this change your parenting style? What will you now impart to your daughter that you may not have before Henry’s death?
A: After my husband’s death I was a single mom for a time. My daughter and I had always been close, but with just the two of us we grew closer. When I met my boyfriend, we created a new family, one where each member has a different last name. I think the big lesson I would like to share with my daughter and other young women is the importance of valuing themselves as individuals and not losing themselves in a relationship.
Q: Why do you think it’s mostly men who are unfaithful in a relationship?
A: It may seem like that but I am not sure that it is mostly men. It takes two, right? From statistics I have read, nearly equal numbers of men and women report having been unfaithful. I think it’s possible that women might feel more hesitant about admitting this behavior. It’s also possible that some married men seek out unattached women with whom to have an affair.
Thanks so much for stopping in Julie! I have a copy of Perfection to giveaway - open to US and Canada, ends Sunday, November 21 at 6 pm EST. Simply leave a comment to be entered.
You can find Julie on Facebook or on Twitter. Read an excerpt of Perfection. Julie is also available for book club discussions!