Well it's January 1st...Did you make any resolutions? Any involving love or relationships? What does this have to do with a giveaway you're saying....?"A witty yet poignant story of a woman in her early thirties who discovers that her seemingly devoted husband has been having an emotional affair for the past year. "
The author, Holly Shumas, is also a licensed relationship therapist
"As a practicing marriage and family therapist, the issues of emotional intimacy and fidelity are close to my heart. I’m convinced that one of the toughest things in the world is remaining emotionally connected to another person for the long haul, and it’s a subject that I love exploring in my writing, in my practice, and in my life."
Do you have a relationship question you'd like Holly to answer? Or a comment on relationships or love? That will be your entry for this giveaway!
So, here's your chance to win not just her new book, but also her first novel, Five Things I Can't Live Without! Three pairs of books to be won, courtesy of Hachette Books, open to US and Canada, no po boxes please. Make sure I have a way to contact you! Giveaway contest runs until midnight January 29th.
94 comments:
What a great contest, please enter me! I'd have to say the hardest thing I've experienced in relationships is when one person has changed over time and the other hasn't. How do you deal with the expectations of the person "left behind," so to speak?
I can be reached through my profile page, my e-mail is listed!
Hee. I love urls as much as I love Win a Book e-mail. Thanks for both, babe! (seriously, remind me to tell you the forgotten attachment story)
No need to enter me. I'm just dropping in to let you know I've got you posted at Win a Book.
This is so great! I've been anxious to read the first one and now there are two books! They both sound really good.
Getting to ask a question too is a nice bonus. I've been married for 22 years and we've been through some rough times as a family. We seem to come out stronger on the other side. I have a wonderful husband and children but the issue of the in-laws rears it's ugly head from time to time. We have some people who have tried to divide our loyalties between each other and them. It's so unfair because we have tried to respect both on each side of the family. When you have tried everything but the relationship is still toxic, do you feel it's ok to "divorce" the in-laws to maintain your marriage and your sanity? There will always be hope but we have priorities.
Thanks for everything. I look forward to the tour and interview!
5wrights1@verizon.net
Hmm... a question.. does a relationship need the basis of friendship to last?.
Books sound good... a nice look into relationships. Please count me in. =)
My question would be: Do you find that it is common for marriages to start having problems around the 10 year point? A lot of my friends' marriages seem to be falling apart at that milestone.
jgbeads AT gmail DOT com
Both books sound wonderful! I'd like to know what your oppion or thoughts are about disagreements in a relationship? When is it to early to have differences in oppions? And if its early on in a relationship should you try to work on those differences or go your seperate ways? Thanks.
I would ask this question, which is relevant to my relationship now: When do you know to give up? That the relationship is not going to work no matter how much or hard you try, or how much you care for the person?
Valorie
morbidromantic@gmail.com
Great contest, I'd love to be entered.
I guess my comment about relationships is that the do truly take commitment and work. Everything's not always going to be peaches and cream
djecse at yahoo dot com
I would love to read these books! I just want to say that being in love and having a stable relationship is the best thing in the world.
bridget3420(at)yahoo(dot)com
My question is -
When a friends of yours is in a not so perfect relationship (not abusive! just not "the one")If you are seeing things that they don't because they are too close to the situation - Is it, or when is it your place to say something?
Please enter me in your contest! the books look great!
My relationship question would be on how to rebuild a marriage after an affair.
Please count me in :)
stacie_vaughan@hotmail.com
o.k here goes are there any "normal"men left thanks for the contest
minsthins(at)optonline(dot)net
Question for Holly....
What 2 things should I tell my teenage sons to look for in a relationship?
Thanks for the giveaway!
I feel that any relationship both parties need to work at it. It is a lot of giving and not much taking. A lot of laughing, some crying and a lot of understanding from each other. Give a lot ... expect nothing. A good realationship is made, it just doesn't happen. I also know that some marriages just don't survive not matter what. People grow in different directions.
Please enter me your contest.
Beckie
loki304(at)tds(dot)net
Question for Holly....
What 2 things should I tell my teenage sons to look for in a relationship?
Thanks for the giveaway!
There are many things my hubby does that irritate me. I try to let them go because I love him so much but sometimes I feel like I can't bare another second. Why do I see so many pet peeves in him and he sees barely any in me? Is there anything I can do about it?
Sorry that's a heavy question.
Oh, enter me enter me! As for me, no relationship...ever. Not really a question, but sheesh, when do you THINK I'll finally get a boyfriend? LOL And I'm 18 by the way..so it's not like I'm that old, but to never have dated at all and being in college now? It's a bit of a bummer...
-lauren
lauren51990 AT aol DOT com
Please enter me! The thought of emotional affairs totally freaks me out because most women become invested emotionally totally with their partner. To lose that trust would be earth-shattering. Although these kinds of books are hard to read, they are still really enjoyable.
hematopoiesis at hotmail dot com
How do you go about meeting a nice guy? I have been doing the dating thing for a long time, would like to meet "him"! Thanks for the contest!
http://julyso4463.blogspot.com/
julyso@grandecom DOT net
Very cool contest. Here's my question:
Is there such a thing as constructive nagging? I'm a bit of a complainer, but at times I feel genuinely taken for granted. Is there any productive way to voice this?
Thanks again!
Sararush at hotmail dot com
I have had a few bad relationships with men &with girlfriends. How do you learn to trust again?
Wow what a great giveaway and what great response you have received! My question is that with the tough economic times I find myself being "upset" over our finances...it's not my husbands fault, yet I find myself angery. I know tough times bring couples closer yet how to avoid getting upset with my husband during this time. Perhaps I'm on 24/7 PMS?
Thanks
Darby
darbyscloset at yahoo dot com
Thanks for the contest! My husband and I recently moved to a location where I am not enjoying the weather or climate. I don't want to be bitter or resentful, but this is not a move that I would have chosen for myself. I'm finding it hard to put aside some bitter feelings - how can I do this? Thanks!!
areallibrarian[at]gmail[dot]com
Great contest! Please enter me. My question is "How do you deal with a husband that is not supportive of your life's goal(s)?"
great contest! i'll have a think.
The covers of both books look very pretty.
My question: what would be the warning sign of a spouse having an 'emotional affair'? the same or different from regular flavor affair? I think maybe it would be harder to detect since there wouldn't be 'physical' evidence.
These books look wonderful!
My question is: I seem to be terribly critical of lots of things hubby does that are really petty. For example, how he loads the dishwasher. What should I do to get over these incredibly stupid things?
What a great contest, I would love to be entered. My comment is about marriage: It seems like people get married and divorced at the drop of a hat and my phrase lately is "Marriage is hard work". It's something that needs to be tended to every day so it shouldn't be taken lightly. Thanks for the great contest and I will post it on my sidebar.
joannelong74@gmail.com
I'd love a chance to read both of these books! I've never read this author! Thanks for the opportunity to win!
My question: What are the most effective communication tools/skills in a marriage?
kysmom02@hotmail.com
These look like wonderful reads!
I think the most difficult part of my relationship with my husband is his tendency to be controlling -- not to the point that it's obnoxious but enough to be annoying since I'm hardly a "kid" -- how do I get him to realize that he needs to loosen up and let go a bit :-)
vmlay@artsci.wustl.edu
Sign me up for a chance!
Marta
tbbycatt@blogspot.com
Sign me up!
And my comment on love is that it's complicated and exhausting, but the good moments are what make life worthwhile.
Thanks for the opportunity to enter! I think the secret in relationships is to learn to accept each others small flaws. I always figure if my husband can overlook my MANY flaws, then I can overlook a few of his too.
Pam
pamelashockley(at)netscape(dot)net
This book sounds great. Please enter me.
My question: How do I get my husband to be more supportive?
Thanks.
Wow! These both sound really good! Thanks for the chance.
My comment: "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." (Who said that?)
geebee.reads AT gmail DOT com
Great contest. Relationship question--How to stop a spouse from spending too much money? I try and try and he still spends too much.
Both books sound great. Please enter me into the contest.
sharon54220@gmail.com
What are some of the signs of a wavering spouse? I never saw it coming!
ok mindy nope no normals left- if there were any to start
the biggest struggle is remembering you are a team but still have your own likes and hobbies to yourself mrs.mommyyatgmaildotcom
I`d love to be entered!
My question:
How do I get my hubby to listen to what I have to say instead of just nodding or saying uhhuh
doctorwright(at)hotmail(dot)com
My relationship comment-laugh often! Don't take yourselves so seriously!
why is my husband so distant lately i at the end of my rope
Once the trust is gone...it's gone forever. It will never, ever be the same.
I'd like to read this.
How do you know what battles to pick to win or loose. Could I get a master list of things I should let go?
jason@allworldautomotive.com
My wife and I have a wonderful relationship, but there is one big problem. She doesn't like to share blankets at bedtime. The truth is, she like to sleep comfortably with her blankets tucked all around. I have honestly tried sharing, but I can't sleep that way or even get comfortable. My wife thinks I'm weird and that I don't like being close to her at night. Isn't sharing a bed enough?
I think one of the hardest parts of marriage can be the differences in the ways men and women communicate.
How do you deal with an emotionally distant partner? I was hoping things would change ...
Kim
turtles8861(at)gmail(dot)com
no need to enter me... Just wanted to say I am part of the tour also and I am reading the book tonight. :)
Thanks for the chance to win these great sounding books. My question, how do you deal with a bully? Thanks
I love to read. My question is how do you deal with a spouse that just wants to sit in front of the tv after a day at work?
I have been a married for 28 years and feel that the most inportant thing in a relationship is to each other the same respect that you would show your best friend. cardshark42(at)hotmail(dot)com
Having some experience with emotional infidelity vs. sexual infidelity, I wonder which she feels is more difficult. In many ways, I feel that emotional infidelity is worse than a silly sexual indiscretion.
Please enter me in the contest.
I've been the cheater and the cheatee during my 45 years and my 19 yrs of marriage. We are still together and we are celibate (I know its a bit odd, but it works for us)
Do you find that too much emphasis is put on sex for relationships success and/or their demise?
Thanks so much
nancyrobster@gmail.com
Please enter me in this awesome book drawing I Love reading Books I feel lost if I dont have a book close by.
thanks
quitemama@yahoo.com
How do you learn to trust again when you were lied to for many years in a past relationship????
I'd love to win. Relationship question? I just started (again) a diet, and my husband still makes fun of my weight. Why does he do it, and why does it make me want to ditch the whole diet thing (again) and say screw it when he does that???
digicat{AT}sbcglobal{DOT}net
How do we get motivated at the same time? It seems like any time we are anxious to do something (exercise, work in the yard, redecorate) the other one isnt feeling it!!
kayceewilliams AT gmail DOT COM
Thanks for the giveaway. My comment about relationships is that they are hard work and both partners have to be willing to work at it.
fmd518@inbox.com
How can a boyfriend deal with my chronic health problems and pain?
I'd love to read these
Wow I love your blog and I'd like to be entered to win these books also.
They sound good!
Thanks and congrats on a wonderful site.
Great Prize. How do you rekindle an old flame after years of marriage?
ktgonyea at gmail.com
My question is: What's the best way to deal with a soon-to-be long-distance relationship?
What does "It isn't you, it's me," really mean???
allmycrazycats AT aol.com
My question would be: How do you find a balance between spouses who need/like different things in their relationship?
whitreidsmama at yahoo dot com
Christina - xristya@rock.com - I've found that men who appear to be "sensitive" and "different" at the beginning of a relationship revert back very easily to "macho" during a break-up! I don't like classifying men this way and would want to think it's always a pairing of individuals instead of just sexes - is this too idealistic?
I am wondering if there if you have recommendations for books to read that have couple building exercises. I know relationships need work and nurturing, and I have trouble finding useful ways to do this that my husband wants to do to.
An interesting contest and interesting to read others questions and comments. I'd love to win these books, too.
My question? How do you learn to trust again once the trust is destroyed?
My big question has always been whether it's more likely that a person always attracts losers or if the losers somehow are always drawn to them?
When I was having problems in my first marriage and would confide in my great grandmother about things she'd tell me that it was better to be an older man's sweetheart than a younger man's slave. Never really paid much attention to those words until after I was divorced and eventually entered into a relationship with my now husband who happens to be my senior by a few years. I don't know if grandmas was right in her comments, but I've certainly found a best friend, a confidant as well as a lover with this relationship.
Also, thanks for a chance to win a book.
beausdorei at gmail dot com
My question is how to rebuild the trust after an affair.
slreichel@comcast.net
What is the best way to go from a relationship thar has become accusatory back to a healthy relationship?
In our 22nd year of our relationship. I still fine things about him. I try to make our relationship stronger.
can a vegetarian live with someone who eats meat and not kill him lol
My question would be how do you learn to trust your heart again after you have been burned so badly in a relationship? It is hard to trust my judgement again but I do not want to spend the rest of my life all alone.
My question would be how do you learn to trust your heart again after you have been burned so badly in a relationship? It is hard to trust my judgement again but I do not want to spend the rest of my life all alone.
my question is how to ioncorporate a child that one partner has into a relationship without that child becoming resentful.
madamerkf at aol dot com
My question:
I have been with my partner for nearly 15 years. We are best friends. I love him, but I am not in love with him. Is there a way we can become more in love again?
Great blog and giveway. I hope you have an awesome day! Thanks again ;-) Amy (amyinkamloops *AT* gmail.com)
What do you do when his cute little quirks become anoying?
Great Post!! I am interested in the giveaway!
My live-in bf broke up w/ me in August, since then we've still been living together. Because of this, my trust for him has completely went out the window. My question is, how can I get trust back for anyone else that may enter my life. Considering what I have been through, its not anytime soon, but I definitely want to trust someone again.
smilkovits AT gmail DOT com
Listen and Love is a great motto!
theyyyguy@yahoo.com
Thankyou so much for this giveaway.
I have so much to learn about relationships. My boyfriend and I seem to fight so much lately, but Im not ready to give up because I feel like we can make it work. Its just Im so stubborn and Ive seem to have met my match...
:]
clarkmurdock@yahoo.com
Our relationship is very strong- and I'm a little worried that someday it may start to wear- HOW do I keep it strong?
froggypartyof2@aol.com
My husband and son are the loves of my life.
Thanks for the contest.
nhertel85(at)yahoo(dot)com
forgot to put my email in my last comment...
how ta make my relationship better, my husband and I fight almost all of the time about things from finances to his drinking too much how can we get along better
booboo918@hotmail.com
This is a great contest & the book sounds fabulous. Thanks for the giveaway.
I'm in my second long term relationship. I had known that my first one wasn't going to last, but continued to hold on. If anyone is actually reading this, you should listen to what people tell you & if it's not working out, stop dragging it out and move on. I'm now engaged to my boyfriend, who I believe is my soulmate.
When one person cheats in a relationship is it possible to forgive and forget or do you always remember it. garrettsambo@aol.com
A relationship is a partnership and both parties should give and take...if it is one-sided, it will never last!
I'd love to be entered in your draw. Thanks!
Relationships are what you make of it.
i AM SICK OF BAD REALATIONSHIP! CAN YOU TELL ME~CAN A PERSON MARRY THEMSELVES.
YAY, what an awesome contest, They look like amazing books count me in please
The hardest thing in a relathionship I believe is fully giving in and trusting the person with your entire being.
twolilstarz@gmail.com
Post a Comment